Acid In The Style Of David Tudor.

When I drive, I sometimes wonder why there are so many other cars on the road. I feel as though I have a valid excuse for being there, but no one else does. Then I relise that these people are all living a different life to mine, that they all experience the world independently. They each have something different that they are driving towards, something completely unrelated to me.

I took acid for the first time on Grand Final day last year - the draw. The last ten minutes of that game was possibly the most emotional period I've ever experienced. By the end of the game, I had bunched myself up on a chair, holding my knees infront of me. I was shaking, biting my fists and sweating uncontrollably. I noticed afterwards that my hands were bleeding and that I had been crying the whole time, and that at some stage I had put my hood and sunglasses on.

We went for a walk down to the shops to get some dinner - this was the first time venturing outside and something was definitely different to RL. Given the result of the footy, I expected there to be riots in the streets, drunken idiots roaming around 'fuckin shit up'. It was eerily quiet. There were a few people walking around, going about their night, but other than that there was nothing much of anything happening. We proceeded to the supermarket.

Inside, the supermarket looked too bright, daunting; so I decided to wait outside. Standing there, watching people walk past doing their own thing, I found myself experiencing not life, but a scene from a play. All of these people were walking onto a set, which entailed my whole field of view, and were acting out their own part in this play. I felt as though they were doing this all for me. Cars drove past, people walked in groups talking about other people, someone kicked a bin, two guys started pushing each other around until a girl broke them up, people walked in and out of the supermarket. I was watching people act out life around me. All that life was was these fragments of moments. Nothing mattered what came before, and nothing would matter about what was going to happen afterwards. These were just people on a set. These were just actors. All that mattered was what was happening at that very moment, what I could see. I was an observer to life, my life.

What a wank.